Another World

*This post was originally made on Thursday, January 28th on my Livejournal*:

Yesterday seemed like a day-long episode of the Twilight Zone. First there was the sighting of 'Sly' Stallone in the Italian Market, then yesterday evening, I went with Bridgette to deliver a painting of mine that recently sold to the client's home. Most of the time, people will pick up work from the gallery, but once in a while, she'll deliver the piece(s) herself. She'd called me Tuesday afternoon and asked me if I wanted to go along to meet the purchasers and I said yes. I'm always interested in who is buying my works and where they wind up.

Anyway, this particular client lives in Moorestown, NJ. Bridgette and I drove up, almost got lost, but made it in time to meet the guy and his wife at their place. During the last part of our drive, it's getting darker and the houses are getting bigger...and bigger...and...yeah, you get the idea. The mail boxes are almost half-a-block away from the houses in this particular development. The good thing is that the houses are not the ugly, cookie-cutter homes you normally see in suburban, and increasingly, urban, developements. It also wasn't a gated community. Nonetheless, the 'neighborhood' seemed, well, sterile and cold, and not just from the weather last night. I'm too used to seeing people walk around at night and standing there looking at these places, I couldn't imagine much life happening there, despite the obvious presence of people in their homes. Maybe it was the newness of everything. From the looks of it, these houses haven't been up for long, a few months at the most. The lawns were also a little too green. Hmmm...

At first, we were afraid that we had the wrong place, but luckily, Bridgette's instincts were on target. The wife opened the door, toting one of her young sons and let us in, painting in tow. As expected, the inside was as big as it looked. The husband was in the kitchen and after getting settled, the wife showed us around the house.

It was big, but modest in style and very relfective of the owners. Bridgette and I kept looking at each other every time she showed us room after room. We didn't even make it to the third floor. There wasn't time for that anyway since Bridgette had another meeting last night and the client had a dinner to get to. We chose the best spot for the work and hung it.

I've always wondered who lived in places like this and I got to find out last night. This couple, at least, was very nice and down-to-earth. They're genuinely into collecting contemporary work and very curious. They asked a lot of good questions and aren't into art just for the hell of it. I have gotten to meet other collectors of my work, but most of the time, that was at the gallery. I like connecting with the people who buy my work, but I felt a huge disconnect lifestyle-wise. I couldn't imagine living in a suburban development and having a place that requires having people come in and clean. There's no way they do their own house-keeping in a home that big. Everything was too new, also. I need a good mix of old and new where I live.

Overall, it was a good experience. I liked meeting the couple and they are enjoying the painting and paying for it, so everybody benefits. Below are a couple of shots of the painting after we hung it. Painting info: The Other, 2005, acrylic on canvas, 48" x 60"

church in fog

church in fog
Originally uploaded by tilaneseven.

I took this just after I got up this morning. The city was blanketed in a heavy fog and the sun was just beginning to peek through the shroud. I looked out my front window and saw that the church in my neighborhood was barely visible even though it's a mere half-block from my house.

I threw on some clothes, climbed out my rear window onto the roof and got a couple of shots before the fog lifted.

I like this one the best out of the few I took. I especially liked the sunlight reflecting off of the cross on the steeple.

white room 9

white room 9
Originally uploaded by tilaneseven.

new year, new toy

It's been a while, but I'm still around. The holidays are over and life is returning to something of a regular pace. I have yet to get back to painting on a regular basis. It's been difficult for me to concentrate on it due to life (and death) happening. I'm brimming with ideas and ready to move on, though.

One thing that made the past couple of months good was the purchase of a digital camera. I'm having a good time figuring out the settings and just taking photos. I've begun a series of sorts recently, using a room at work as my subject. The series is called, 'White Room' There are about 13 so far. I'll be posting them here once a day, I guess. They are numbered, but they'll be out of order. This is the first:




White Room 7

picking up steam

Things are beginning to move along and I'm needing to pick up the pace of things a bit. One of the more important items I have to take care of is having some slide dupes made of recent work. I need to have them available to send out for shows and a residency I want to apply for. There's a spring show looming, being curated by Julie Karabenick. It's going to be at Gallery Siano during May and June. The only issue is the essayist needs images of available work really soon and Bridgette has clients looking at some pieces left over from my September show this weekend. So, as usual, things are running on a tight schedule. It'll work out. I won't complain about having this kind of problem.

I also have to increase my studio time to where it was a year ago. It's all coming together, though. Yesterday, I continued working on two new acrylic paintings on panels. A few weeks ago, I purchased a couple of 16" x 16" deep cradle panels from Utrecht. I like them so far and may get some more for the near future just to have something ready to paint on while I prepare some larger canvases to work on. It's just so difficult to concentrate on getting anything done this time of year because of the holiday business. You have to keep a lot of balls in the air at once.

Back to studio time. Even though the last couple of sessions have been short, lasting only about two or three hours at a time, I feel satisfied with the results in the paintings so far. I have to get used to how cold it can get in there. I didn't turn on the heat because I knew I was only going to be in there a short time. I had plenty of layers on and put on my coveralls and hat over everything else. That kept me pretty warm. My fingers were a little chilled, but that was it. I'll pick up some small gloves to work in when I need them.

picking up steam

Things are beginning to move along and I'm needing to pick up the pace of things a bit. One of the more important items I have to take care of is having some slide dupes made of recent work. I need to have them available to send out for shows and a residency I want to apply for. There's a spring show looming, being curated by Julie Karabenick. It's going to be at Gallery Siano during May and June. The only issue is the essayist needs images of available work really soon and Bridgette has clients looking at some pieces left over from my September show this weekend. So, as usual, things are running on a tight schedule. It'll work out. I won't complain about having this kind of problem.

I also have to increase my studio time to where it was a year ago. It's all coming together, though. Yesterday, I continued working on two new acrylic paintings on panels. A few weeks ago, I purchased a couple of 16" x 16" deep cradle panels from Utrecht. I like them so far and may get some more for the near future just to have something ready to paint on while I prepare some larger canvases to work on. It's just so difficult to concentrate on getting anything done this time of year because of the holiday business. You have to keep a lot of balls in the air at once.

Back to studio time. Even though the last couple of sessions have been short, lasting only about two or three hours at a time, I feel satisfied with the results in the paintings so far. I have to get used to how cold it can get in there. I didn't turn on the heat because I knew I was only going to be in there a short time. I had plenty of layers on and put on my coveralls and hat over everything else. That kept me pretty warm. My fingers were a little chilled, but that was it. I'll pick up some small gloves to work in when I need them.

one step...

I worked a total of 2 1/2 hours today. I'm currently working on a couple of deep-cradle panels (16"x16" and 2 1/2" thick) I purchased from Utrecht a couple of weeks ago. Although I worked on a painting recently, I still feel like I'm stumbling along with making new work after the hiatus. I noticed that I picked up a few bad habits, going to bed late being chief among them. I did a lot better last night, but I still didn't get out of the apartment until close to noon. That's not good enough.

Well, anyway, I felt almost at a complete loss today when I finally got up to the studio. The toughest part is just getting started. I have plenty of ideas, but tackling that blank slate is still daunting after a time away. I quickly cleared up that issue by covering both panels with a single color, as I usually do. It was great just watching the brushstrokes accumulate and eventually dominate the pristine white flatness of the panels.

I painted for a while, just getting back into the swing of things. It's going to take a couple of painting sessions before I really feel back in the groove, but I think I'm off to a good start. As long as I get into the studio, something will get done.

2.19.87

The following is a journal entry I wrote 18 years ago. It appears here just as it was written:

Thurs. Feb. 19, 1987
9:28pm

I may be leaving GNC soon. If I can find another job, that is. I'm getting tired of the long commute from South Philly to Willow Grove. On top of that, I get paid every two weeks and with the money I'm making, it isn't worth the trip. It's definitely time to move on. To what? The main considerations at this point are being paid on a weekly basis and not having to travel so far. And of course a good salary would be nice.

Where is my life headed? Good question. Right now I'm considering a career in art. I know it sounds crazy as shit but that's where my heart is. Looking at it realistically, I know what odds I face in terms of making a living. I'm looking to the possibility of teaching, for a start anyway.

I've tossed the pros and cons of the situation around for a long time and I've decided that the only way to find out firsthand is to get in there and find out what it's like. Who knows it may lead to something great.

......

Reading that passage while flipping through one of my old journals made me smile and laugh out loud. It's the first time I'd written anything about wanting to pursue an artistic career. That's pretty significant because before this passage, I don't think I talked about it to anyone other than my high school art teacher, Richard Segal. Considering that I did take that leap of faith to "find out what it's like" and where that road has led me, I'm more than happy that I committed these thoughts to paper.

Sum Of All Parts

I'm heading out to the studio soon to get some work done and deliver a painting to the gallery. There's a group show happening next week, so I'm glad I got something done before the holiday hit. I'm going to work on a couple of small works on panel, also. Bridgette's hanging the new show this Monday.
......

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 16, 2005
GROUP SHOW "SUM OF ALL PARTS" - New Works
Philadelphia, PA - The Bridgette Mayer Gallery is pleased to present a group exhibition of new works featuring all Gallery artists. "Sum of All Parts" will run from November 30, 2005 - January 14, 2006 with an opening reception First Friday, December 2nd from 6-8:30 p.m.


Sixteen artists will be featured in the show: Elyce Abrams, Neil Anderson, Allen Bentley, Mark Brosseau, Deborah Caiola, Kate Davis Caldwell, Jean Gaudaire-Thor, Clark Gibson, Robert Godfrey, Dana Hargrove, Chris Lyon, Tim McFarlane, Franck Moëglen, Deirdre Murphy, Rebecca Rutstein, and Alexis Serio. The exhibition will explore the relationship between the forms, themes, and techniques of this diverse range of contemporary artists.


Thirteen artists will exhibit new paintings. Clark Gibson will show works that survey the components of urban structure through abstraction. Tim McFarlane will also contribute paintings that explore the urban environment; abstracted grid systems reminiscent of maps and city architecture. Neil Anderson will show work of more traditional abstraction as he investigates the elements of painting - color, texture, and surface.


Deirdre Murphy's paintings move between abstraction and realism to express nature within an urban space. Franck Moëglen also works through representation and abstraction. He modifies common signs and symbols with layers of paint until the image becomes as diffuse and immaterial as a memory. Evidence of memory is also crucial to the work of Alexis Serio who will be exhibiting a large landscape painting. Serio examines the memory of landscape and movement of light through representation and abstraction.


Mark Brosseau will show work which investigates space in a different sense, focusing on the movement, experience and 'visual play' of painting. Jean Gaudaire-Thor also investigates abstract painting as an outlet for visual play. Inspired by primitive art his paintings express the diversity of the human experience.


Two artists explore relationships through more representational means. Robert Godfrey's bold paintings of lovers are indulgent in gesture and celebrate the rituals and mythology of relationships. Allen Bentley paints the small conflicts and reconciliations of human interaction with a palate of vibrant colors and images of lively dancers.


Deborah Caiola also paints figures, but explores portraiture from a background of anthropology. She expresses the unique personalities of her subjects while also investigating the broader issue of an individual's place in society. Dana Hargrove also examines, with more abstract colors and forms, how the individual functions within the community. She studies the processes of disconnection and reconnection.


Elyce Abrams and Kate Davis Caldwell will both be exhibiting work recently completed through the Vermont Studio Center Residency program. Abrams explores elements of everyday life through an abstract vocabulary of marks, colors, drips, and forms. Davis Caldwell recreates forgotten histories by placing vintage images within a new context of painted forms and organic landscapes.


Chris Lyon and Rebecca Rutstein will both be exhibiting drawings and works on paper. Lyon will show a large charcoal drawing flickering with the suggestion of human bodies and interactions. Rutstein incorporates themes of geology and interpersonal relationships in her work and will be showing a series of graphite drawings.


An animated video by Brooke Steytler entitled 'Factory Man' will also be on view in the Gallery's vault room.


"Sum of All Parts" will run through January 14, 2006. The artist's will be present at the opening reception Friday, December 2nd from 6:00 - 8:30 p.m. Gallery hours are Tuesday - Saturday 11-5:30, other days by appointment. For additional information please contact Bridgette Mayer, 215.413.8893 Fax 215.413.2283

Green, again...

I can tell that I'm really coming out of my artistic 'down time'. At work, I have moments where I can relax for a bit between customer calls, employee needs, and figuring out how to deal with whatever has broken this time. I had one some time today, outside of lunch, where I was able to grab my sketchbook out of my bag and doodle a bit. I did a few thumbnail sketches of possible compositional ideas in square and rectangular formats. That's what I do in my sketchbooks for the most part. I also write in them, but for the most part, page after page is filled with squares and rectangles full of off-the-cuff painting ideas. So, today's little five minute sketch session was accompanied by a mental, "Yeah, I'm ready to work again".

......

I was in the office at one of the desks that all the managers share. I plopped down into the gray, cushioned chair that's been darkened by years of use. I took my sketchbook out of the bag and glanced at the last day I'd done anything in it. The date in the upper left-hand corner read: 9.20.05. That's just over two months ago and during the last week of my show. That was the day that I decided to jot down any ideas I had for a possible series of paintings. To the left of the date was this: A SERIES OF PREDOMINANTLY GREEN PAINTINGS. I tend to use all upper-case lettering when I write with a sharpie(ultra-fine point). If I try to write in cursive long-hand with them, it just looks like a mess and I sometimes have a hard time deciphering what I just wrote) Note: See this entry for earlier discussion of this idea

I also made a list to go along with the 'green paintings' sentence. I wrote down all of the words that came to me within a few minutes that have some association with the word 'green':

LUSH
LIFE
GROWTH
SUN
FOREST
GARDEN
JUNGLE
OASIS
SHELTER
WILD
GRASS
PLANTS
FLOWERS
LEAVES
TREES
VINES
IVY
SOIL
WATER

There was a second column, but this illustrates the idea well enough.

I'd been thinking about a 'green' project for a while before committing this list to paper. A few of the paintings that I'd worked on for the September show had various greens worked into the final images. I gained an affinity for the greens I'd mixed and thought that it would be interesting to try making near monochromatic paintings based around 'green'. I'm still considering it and as soon as I pick up more supplies, I'll get to work on it. If it doesn't work out, I'll just move on to the next idea I have. Oh, yes, there are more...

I think I like the color so much because it reminds me of life and growth. I'm surrounded by plants in my living space and, despite being a hard-core city person, I love the outdoors; forests, hiking, trees, grass, all of it. I can continue to explore the loose grid imagery I've been working on over the past year and I can work on some more minimal pieces as well. Now that I have a basic theme, I can dive into painting and have something to challenge myself with again.

give and take

I'm reminded of just how good I have it when I talk to people about my art life. I'm living the dream that so many have, namely, being able to do what your heart desires. Choosing to continue with a creative life isn't always easy, nor always fun, but I can't think of anything else that I'd be as enthusiastic about working at. It's the one area of my life where I derive the most pleasure and happiness from. I never feel so alive as when I'm in the midst of painting or doing something else creative. Even if what I'm working on is turning out to be complete shit, I still experience an intensity of feeling that I don't really experience in other areas of my life.

The feelings are often indescribable. I've told friends that even though I don't smoke, there have been times when I've been so caught up in what I'm doing that I feel like I need to smoke or do something to disperse some of the energy that builds up during a painting session. The intensity of focus is what causes that reaction. I can feel the adrenaline rushing through me when I'm really caught up in a painting. Sometimes, it can feel like having sex, at others, more like being in a physical competition against others or the clock. The only difference with me is that most of the activity is taking place mentally. The physical component of painting, for me, isn't that dramatic. At times, it is, but there's a more measured mix of the mental and physical for me as a painting develops. I know I'm much more physically engaged in how I apply paint and other materials in the begining of a work than later on.

The point at which the mental begins taking precidence over the physical is never the same, but it does occur. There's a point where I scrutinize the formal decisions about color, compostition, forms, etc... much more intensely than when I started the piece. At what point in the process this occurs is different every time, but it always happens. I usually refer to that point as when "the painting begins to tell me where it wants to go". Every painting has it's own life. While I might start off with a general idea of what I want to do and achieve, there's always a point where a dialogue begins to take shape; there's more of a 'push/pull' relationship happening between myself and what's going on with the images and forms on the canvas.

It's give and take, as is the ideal in other areas of life. Every decision or mark I make on the canvas affects everything else I've previously done and what comes after.

getting back to it

I'm returning to work in the studio this week. I feel that it's time to move on with some new work, plus, I really have the itch to create again. The past few weeks of 'exhibition recovery' have been really good for me. There were plenty of times when I thought I should have been in there painting away, but to tell the truth, that was just me feeling guilty for not wanting to be in there at all.

One of my challenges in life is maintaining some sort of balance between my social/personal life and my art life. The two meet often, but usually, one suffers when I attempt to bolster the other. In recent weeks, I've taken on expanding my social circle a bit by becoming acquainted with new people and actually spending time having face-to-face conversations, going to dinner parties, and making time to spend with the friends I already have, as well. I'm enjoying this time, because I know that once I begin painting regularly again, people won't be able to find me so readily. Even though I have a cell-phone, I can keep it turned off until I'm ready to talk. I refuse to become a slave to it.

I love painting and being creative, in general, but I also have a need to make sure I stay connected to people, as well. There are and will continue to be times when I hole up in the studio and will rarely go out, it's inevitable. The trick is adapting and continuing to find ways to have something of a balance between the demands of my art marriage and everyone else in my life. Art is a jealous mistress, there's no doubt about it. Most of the time I'll go along with her demands, but even she has to be ignored sometimes.

new pics

I have some new pics uploaded that were taken by Chris Ashley when he visited earlier in the month. There are more from this set here

artblog article

There's an interesting article about my work and that of my friend and fellow painter, Anne Seidman, on Roberta Fallon and Libby Rosof's Artblog. It was posted on September 29th, a few days after my solo exhibition at the Bridgette Mayer Gallery had closed.

being busy

It's 5:25am and I'm up. I've been awake since a little after 4am and got to bed around 12am. My alarm is set to go off in another hour and-a-half. Later in the morning, I'm heading up to New York for the AAF Contemporary Art Fair.

This is the last of a couple of months of big art events I've taken part in. In September, there was my solo show at Bridgette Mayer. Then, I had work included in The Urban Canvas at Gallery Siano. I helped jury an exhibition at the Bryn Mawr Rehab Hospital. After that, I did the open studio weekend and now, there's the New York fair. It's been really busy, but I'm not complainig. A lot of really good things have come out of it all. For example, I got to meet a few artists I hadn't met in real life before, like Chris Ashley.

Chris came to Philly from California for the show and we had a good talk at my studio while he was here. I don't have many studio visits with other artists. I should do it more, but haven't. Mainly for lack of time or schedule conflicts. Anyway, I enjoyed talking with him about my work and his. We exchanged stories about what it's been like for us as artists and how that has impacted how we live our lives. It's also very interesting to see how your ideas are filtered through your peer's eyes and minds.

It's hard to put your work out in the world for the general public to look at and critique. Your creative peers are another story altogether. It's much easier to talk to another artist about what your ideas because there's a shared language and understanding of what you are doing. There's a distinct level of understanding and dialogue that's possible with another artist that you might not have with someone who isn't directly involved with creative pursuits. Discussing my ideas with someone else also often leads me to see my work from an angle I previously might not have been privy to.

So, now, there's the New York art fair. I'm pretty excited to have the chance for my work to be seen in New York so soon after the show at the Broadway Gallery this spring, as well as after having my solo show. It'll be interesting to get a 'behind the scenes' look at what these things are like.

......

I'm tired. Not just from lack of sleep tonight/this morning, but from the whirl of activity that's taken place over the past, well, almost year, now. I haven't been in the studio since my show went up and have been anxious about it. I recognize the need for physical and mental rest, but it's been difficult to relax and not do something in the studio. My headspace has been taken up by so much stuff outside of making art, that I haven't had the chance to begin the process of really recharging my creative batteries. There are a lot of ideas floating around in my head as usual, but I can't quite act on them yet. Perhaps in the next week or so, after the fair is over, I'll have some clear mental space to begin painting again.

set up

I managed to get the studio set up for Open Studios quicker than I thought. It helps that this isn't the first time I'm doing it, so I was much better prepared. Waiting until the day before to set everything up and run around buying essentials and getting other tasks done wasn't the smartest idea, but I made the most of it. I even made it out to catch two openings tonight. I stopped by Fleisher Art Memorial for the 2nd Challenge Exhibition of the seaon.

I only got to check out Mauro Zamora's and Jon Manteau's paintings. Both are very strong painters but with different sensibilities. Mauro's paintings are more graphically inspired, while Manteau's are expressive in a much more visceral way. I'll have to got back to check out Penelope Rakov's sculpture work. I was in a hurry because I had to get to 40th and Chestnut to catch my friend, Delia King's opening.

Delia was showing some new pieces which are patterned-based and most of them weren't explicitly figurative, like much of her previous work. She's still using her reverse glass painting technique, only with patterns which resemble fabric or wallpaper samples. Instead of putting all of the patterns together on one piece of glass, she's opted for multiple panes, each with it's own pattern. This idea works for me because there's another layer of movement, the viewer's, which changes how the work is experinced depending the vantage point of the viewer. I think the work is pretty successful and was pleasently surprised when I saw the new paintings. It's always good to see fellow artists taking risks in thier work and maintaining a fresh feeling in it.

lagging but catching up

The past few weeks have been really busy and, consequently, I also haven't been keeping up with posting here. I'm going to try and get caught up soon.

In the meantime, there's the second week of the Philadelphia Open Studio Tours happening this weekend. This is the third year that I've participated and also the first time that I'm not really looking forward to doing it. I like opening my studio and have people come in and experience a working studio, but the excitement I had the first couple of times isn't quite there this time. I think this bit of reality began last year when attendance was way down over both days from the year before. Part of that was due to bad weather on Saturday and on Sunday, there were a couple of other big events going on in the city, which left fewer people walking around Old City, where my studio is.

My expectations about attendance had a lot to do with it, also. This year, I'm not doing as much preparation as I've done in the past. I'll still have snacks and drinks, only less of both. I'm not worried about painting the walls, although I may fill in some of the nail holes. I'm also concerned about being basically the only artist in the area participating. There are a couple of other people kind of close, but they are still blocks away.

My feeling is, unless people are planning to be in the Old City area, I'm not going to get many visitors. There just isn't a cluster of other working artists in Old City any more, and I think the interest in going over there is going to be pretty low. Then, people just walking by generally just won't come in. I think a lot of them look at the poster, balloons and other materials I've had on the outside door and think they have to pay to get in or something. Some people are simply intimidated by art and artists and feel they will be intruding, even though the public is being invited to come in.

Also, more people seem to know about the artist building at915 Spring Garden Street than any other artist space around. I've done a lot of promotion on the 'net and in real life by talking to people and handing out brochures. As anyone who has attempted to promote anything knows, you can shout from the rooftops and the public will still not give it a second thought. Well, POST is becoming more well-known, and the studio tours are getting more media exposure, so the only thing to do is to see what happens.

what now?

What now?

Yep, it's that time again. Before the show, I didn't think I'd have those two words going through my mind, but they are. I also thought that I'd just continue painting like before the exhibitit went up. However, that hasn't been the case. It seems that regardless of how many new ideas I've been ready to get working on since before the opening reception, the past three weeks or so have found me not doing much of anything in the studio.

Despite all of my seeming readiness to jump back into the fray, I haven't been up to doing much of anything during the time that the show was up. All of the preparations for the show-finishing paintings, having framing done, photography-have caught up to me. My mind and body have conspired to make me slow down. I'm filled with new painting ideas, but my mind is a little fuzzy. I haven't been able to get it together to focus on painting lately.

It's good though, this forced rest period. I can feel myself coming back to a place where I can work again, but for a while there, I just couldn't. I obviously needed more time away from it than I thought. This Wednesday will mark my first day back in the studio to work. There's just one thing I have to work on, so I'll do that and see what else happens as the week progresses.

Givng back

The exhibition ended this past Saturday and I'm happy with how things turned out. Made some sales and there are prospects for more, plus more people got to see the new work and that's always a good thing.

Also, on Saturday morning, I gave a talk to some children that came to the gallery as part of a church program for underprviledged youth based in Chester County, just outside of Philly. There were about 8 kids, aged 5-12, none of which had been in an art gallery before, and four adults. One of Bridgette's clients set up the trip and led the teaching aspect of of the discussion. I introduced myself and talked a little bit about myself and what I do as a painter. It was kind of hard at first, because I had to find different language to use than I usually do when describing my work. In other words, I had to make it simpler than usual as I'm not used to talking with younger students about my work.

Anyway, the students looked around the gallery, checked out the paintings and started linking images in the works to what they've seen in the world around them. They were really enthusiastic and asked a lot of questions. Later, they had the chance to do some drawing and coloring of their own and at the end, talked about what they did.

......

Going into this experience, I was kind of nervous since I'd not really interacted with younger students in the past. Once things got going and there was someone there handling the teaching end of the discussion (using some of the paintings as examples and asking the kids about different aspects of the images, I felt better. My reticence had more to do with it being a new experience more than anything. I've spoken to high school and college seniors about art in the past, but not younger kids.

They were attentive and appreciated being there and seemed to have a good time. I was happy to be able to give some time for this. It was really important for me, not only as an artist, but also as an African-American male who has worked to follow his dreams and has been actually living it. It felt good being an example to those kids of what's possible for them and that there are ways for them to express themselves beyond what they may already be used to.

I remember having a similar experience when I was in high school, 11th grade, I think. Our regular art teacher was out and we had a substitute for this one day. The sub was an African-American and an artist. The first thing I remember being struck by was his afro. This was the mid-80's and I hadn't seen anyone really wear one in a while. Anyway, he comes into class, big afro and bright yellow shirt, black slacks and tie. He's dragging in huge rolls of yellow paper and a briefcase. He puts his stuff down looks around, introduces himself (I have no clue what his name was), and takes roll.

With roll-call over, he begins to unfurl the rolls of paper and tack them up along the back wall. They were charcoal drawings of nudes. The drawings were of black people in various poses. Some were portraits and others were more like figure studies. I think everyone in the class was momentarily shocked, particularily the white kids. We knew about art nudes and such, but none of us had seen anything like this in the school before. I was impressed with the drawings and even more impressed when the substitute began talking about his work. At that point, I hadn't met any black artists before and there was something really powerful in how he spoke about his art and himself. That's stuck with me for a long time, obviously.

I can only hope that my time with the students at the gallery will be remembered in some form or another.

the other side of art

Last Wednesday, I talked to a group of senior art students at UArts. That Monday, my friend and fellow artist and gallery owner, Shelly Spector, asked me if I'd be interested in speaking to a group of students she was teaching. Her class is all about the side of art-making most of us don't enjoy that much: the business end of things. I jumped at the opportunity because there are too many art students who graduate from art schools without much knowledge about the administrative side of being artists. Sure, they might be talented, but can they write an effective artist statement and know how to present their resumés?

Shelly asked me to talk about how my career has grown and how I've come to where I am now. This particular session focused on building an artist resumé. I talked about how I got started showing (cafés and bookstores) and how one thing led to another through my entering various juried exhibitions and other competitions, including the Fleisher Challenge and having my work published in New American Paintings.

When Shelly asked me to talk to her students, I was flattered and nervous at the same time. I've spoken to students in my studio, but this was the first time I was going to speak in a classroom. I was out of my home base and wondered if I could still do what I needed to. The experience was good. I was nervous and it helped that I was sitting in a chair at the front of the class next to Shelly. I felt like I had something to ground me a little. It was a bit intimidating sitting there with all of these expectant eyes on me, waiting for whatever 'wisdom' I had to impart.

Even though I've come to a point in my career where I can speak somewhat authoritively about what I've done and been through as an artist, there was still that sense of 'what the hell am I doing?' while speaking? I tried to make sure I made as much sense as possible, and not stray too far from the topic at hand. The thing that helped me the most was that over the years, I've gotten better at talking about my work as an artist. At one point in the class, Shelly asked me if this was ten years ago, would I have been able to talk about my work in the same way as I can now. The answer was obviously 'no'. Sure, I might have been able to speak about what I was doing, but not in the same way I can now. That has come about only through a lot of hard work on my part and staying engaged with my life as a creative person.