Too much? Not enough?

Detail: recent painting in progress

    There's this intrusive thought that pops up in my head every now and then and it's pretty ridiculous: "Am I making too much art?" I think that it's a ridiculous notion because what does it matter? It's almost like thinking, "Am I breathing too much?" It only comes up when I look at the artwork in my storage racks in the studio. When I moved into the space I had a painting rack made and installed. Completely filled it up as soon as I moved in. I'd done a cull before the move, as well, to get rid of work that didn't need to be around any more. Sometimes, I walk into the studio, see that full rack and knowing that I'm going to keep making more art that may or may not sell, wonder if I'm doing too much. It doesn't matter if it sells or not, that's not my focus. Of course, I like it when work sells because I get to continue paying my bills and debts and putting money back into the studio work by buying the materials I need, amongst other things. However, the thought of having made too much work pops up again. 

    Two things cause that thought to go away almost instantaneously: I have a lot of work that I need to make and too many ideas to explore. The urge to make work is irresistable. I have to do it in some way. I can take time away from directly making things, but the work continues in my head. Another thing popped up for me today when I saw an IG post by Gary Vee. The post is a video with a younger GV in a car when he is asked by a passing fan, "What are three words of motivation when I'm feeling down?" Gary Vee answers, "You're gonna die". The woman looks at him incredulously, but he just repeats himself and says "That's inspiration, do something about it". [see the post here].

    It doesn't take much for me to be motivated as an artist. I'm almost always motivated, thankfully. Hearing those three words in the context of being an artist hits a little differently. The reaction I had was along the lines of, "As long as I can get out of bed, I'm going to continue making art". That's it. I'm not going to let my sometimes overthinking brain con me into considering that I'm making too much art. One day, life will stop, so while I can, I'd better make the most of every day. If the ideas are still hitting and I can find ways to bring them into being, then I'm going to continue painting until I absolutely can't any longer. 

TM

 

Still going...

    Even though I haven't been posting here, things are happening. The last time I wrote, I was still on vacation, I think, ruminating about not having posted online in a bit. Since we've been back from Sardinia and Barcelona, I've resumed posting on IG, FB, LI and the bird app. Not in quite the same way as previously, but I'm definitely back on there more, something that I'm trying to balance a little more. I don't feel the way I did before the social media break, a good thing, I'd say. It's kind of funny, but I've embraced the making of reels and posting on Tik Tok. My feelings about reels before the break was that they really got in the way of how I make art, but thinking about it a little more and having made a few shorts, I'm a bit less high-minded about them and have been able to find my own way of dealing with them. 

    The I take a low effort approach to making reels, which isn't hard to do since the apps have everything you need, like music, effects, and all sorts of editing tools. I just make sure that I'm not doing anything to disrupt my studio flow. I already document my studio practice and other aspects of my life, so adopting to them hasn't been that hard. I'm not that interested in making a lot of "how-to" vids with voice-overs, but I will do a time-lapse that shows me making part of a drawing or painting, then switch to a view of the finished or near finished piece. I'm also just into making experimental shorts with whatever platform tools there are. 

    Painting has been going fairly well. I'm just a little annoyed with a couple of things that I've been doing, but I'm trying to gain an understanding of some of my habits, as well as take time to think through my frustrations. It's important to be as open and present as possible so that I allow for opportunities for solutions to come forth and I can accept them. 

TM