I've been back in the studio regularly over the past couple of weeks. I've come out of it with one new painting finished and a couple of others nearly so. I really feel that I'm back in a good space, mentally, unlike how I was feeling when I wrote the last entry. I'm still fighting to maintain some focus and make sure I take care of the things I need to with my creative life.
Things are changing in my life in ways I never knew they would. I'm still a little too close to what's going on to have any real perspective, but it's a good thing...or crazy as hell. I guess I'll have to see what happens over the next few months.
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Someone recently sent me an email asking me do describe what it feels like when I'm painting. She also asked what I did to revive when I wasn't feeling particularly creative. These are my answers which I've expanded on a little:
How I feel when I'm inspired and painting is hard to pin down to exact words, but I suppose being 'in a zone' is one way of putting it. There are times where I'm so into what I'm doing that I might forget to eat. When i'm painting, there's usually a feeling of excitment. There's a feeling that there's this unseen energy flowing through me that only becomes visible through what I do on the canvas, paper, or whatever else I happen to be working with. It manifests itself in the brushstrokes, scrapings, lines, pencil marks and more...
I've thought about what I feel when painting or doing some other creative activity. There are definitely different energies contributing to what I do. Some are sexual in nature, others are more aggressive and still more that are subtle. More often than not, there is a combination of these and more that I haven't been able to identify.
If I'm feeling creatively blocked, these days I give myself permission to lay off for a bit. I used to agonize over not being productive all the time, but I found that approach to be more taxing than letting it go for a little while.
I tend to work on more than one piece at a time, so if I'm having issues with one painting, I'll put it aside and move to something else, usually another painting or drawing. If nothing is working, then I'll call it a day and leave or not go into the studio in the first place. It also helps to focus on other things for a while, as I get inspiration from sources other than art, like design, music, books, films, etc...
