Need any help?

     This afternoon, I was walking back to the studio from grabbing a couple of snacks. The side of the street I was on has a huge lot of newly built homes set way back from the street. Closer to the street, the lot is mostly rubble and could be another section of the development waiting to happen. Towards the northern end of the lot, there was a guy dumpster diving, pulling stuff out of the construction dumpster and loading up his pick-up truck. He saw me as I was about to pass and, out of the blue, said that he’d just pulled a chunk of an I-beam out from the bottom of the container. I looked over and could see it resting on the far top corner of the dumpster. He was carrying a long pipe in one hand and something else in the other as he worked his way through the fence opening.

    I asked if he needed help and he said, “Nah, I’m alright, did three tours in Iraq”.  I started walking away and said back to him, “That’s great, but it doesn’t mean you won’t need help” and thanked him for his service. My ‘help’ comment was meant to hopefully spark the thought in his mind that accepting help was ok. This was a little presumptuous on my part, I'm aware of that, but his retort about his tours of duty in Iraq brought to mind all of the times I’ve heard men say something similar before going on to  struggle with whatever task was at hand. There are so many reasons why people might reject help, and to each their own. I was just struck by this man's Iraq comment because I've heard that sentiment many times over the years. 

    His comment seemed to be another perfect example of how men appear to be hard-wired to not accept help. A lot of this may be centered in pride and ego, wanting to project strength and individualism. Now, he may or may not have had a problem getting that piece of I-beam to his truck, but his comment about Iraq appeared to me to be a kind of defense mechanism. I’ve heard guys say things like this all of my life. Even going back to childhood, there was always a man around, perhaps struggling to carry something or do some difficult task who turns down help by saying something about some past or present personal achievement of strength or endurance, usually followed by, “If I could handle that, I can do this (alone), too”. My dad was the same way, even as he was breathless and struggling to finish up whatever he was working on. And that’s great! If you can still call on your reserves of individual strength, that’s fine. Although, to me, this mindset  seems like a self-imposed barrier to appearing to be vulnerable and needing help which translates to “weak” for so many men. 

I’m no stranger to this way of thinking. As an only child, I always felt that I had to do for myself before getting anyone else involved. Not in the sense of being afraid of needing help, but because of my upbringing with alcoholic parents. I often felt the need to take care of a lot of things alone, not having the security of knowing that there was someone there to help me in whatever way(s) I needed. This has affected how I process situations where I might need assistance as an adult. Many times, I don’t even know the right questions to ask and have to sit with that discomfort and figure out exactly what it is that I’m after by asking for help. I’m working on it, as with a lot of things. As for the guy and his piece of I-beam, I hope he managed to get it to his truck or was ok with leaving it. 

TM

All day, all PAFA

 

    Earlier this year, I was invited to be a visiting artist at PAFA, thanks to the Visiting Artist Program and committee. Last Wednesday (6.21.23), I found myself with a full crit schedule in the afternoon and hour long talk that started at 5pm. I had a great time meeting and talking with the students in the Low Residency MFA program there, where students work at the school in the summer and work virtually for the rest of the year. In my email communications with Jazlyne Sabree, who was heading the VAP committee, a couple of days before my visit, the list of students who signed up for critiques with me started with about four. By the time I arrived at the school, the last slot had filled, which meant that I did back to back 30 minute crits all afternoon, from 12pm-4:30pm with a half-hour break before my talk at 5.

   The packed schedule energized me more than I realized. I really enjoyed speaking with the students and engaging with them about their work. There were a wide range of interests, all 2-D based, but very different approaches to materials and subject matter. Most of the students were in their 30s and above and most had been making art for a number of years, already. One student came to art from a background in law and an additional non-art related career. They all were passionate about what they were doing and all trying to figure out how to keep moving forward with their creative interests. My approach to the crits was to meet them where they are and figure out how I might be able to help them along their journey. They all were really motivated and thirty minutes wasn't quite enough time to dive deep into their practices, but that constraint forced me to be as efficient as possible with my comments. Most of those conversations could have easily gone on for an hour or more. 

    I'm honored that so many students signed up to have crits with me and I hope they all got something valuable out of our time together. I enjoy talking with students about their work because I feel like there's always something that I can pass on to them, regardless of the type of work that they are pursuing. I have over 40 years of experience in making art of some kind and I feel that it's necessary to pass on some of that knowledge so that someone can possibly benefit from it. I tend to shy away from traditional classroom teaching, preferring other ways of engaging with younger artists, like these visiting artist critiques and talks. I think that it's vital for artists to be open and willing to share their knowledge with others. 

    The talk almost didn't happen, haha! I had my presentation on my laptop and on a thumb drive, both of which I took with me. The only issue was that I 'thought' that I'd exported the images as Powerpoint files (from the Keynote files on my Mac laptop), but hadn't and the school's tech is Microsoft based. Anyway, near panic ensues as the tech person went to the library to see if they had a Mac that they could use. However, William Lawler, one of the students that was helping me out suggested that I try to export the file again and this time, it worked, and just in time. 

    This was the first in person artist talk that I'd given since before the pandemic in 2020. A couple of weeks prior, i'd been part of a panel discussion, but that was different. Here, it was just me presenting my work and ideas to an audience. In short, I'm told that the talk was good. From my end, there were a few points that I meant to make, but somehow managed to gloss over because of a small amount of nervousness in worrying about time (roughly 45 minutes for the talk and the rest given over to audience questions) and making sure I was clear in my delivery. I feel like there's room for improvement, but enjoyed the opportunity and am open to doing more in the near future. My talk will probably available on PAFA's website soon. I may hold off on watching it, but will get to it eventually. 

TM