blockage

Quite honestly, it's been a bitch moving ahead with the new work. Seriously, nothing has felt like it's clicking. There's just too much going on right now that I have to concentrate on. I don't really have a choice except to see everything through. I thought the day trip to New York yesterday would loosen things up in my head, but that didn't really happen. The day itself was good and the time with E. was great, but as I went through the morning after a much-needed rest I found that I felt worse than before. I was feeling depressed, edgy and a bit deflated. I felt like my creative tap had been shut off and the excitement I usually feel was nowhere to be found.

I had to dig a little deeper and the only way to get to that point was to just paint. I had to get myself over the mental hump by throwing myself into the work. That's what I resolved to do while walking to the studio during the afternoon downpour this afternoon. I got there and painted for a few hours. I managed to get somewhere with a couple of larger paintings, though they still have a ways to go, which is fine. As I worked, I found myself moving into a much better place, mentally. It was still a struggle, but at least I have a path towards something now...